WCW Monday Nitro 1.03.2000

WCW MONDAY NITRO
Monday, January 3rd, 2000

Live from the Bi-Lo Center in Greenville, SC

List of WCW Champions at the time:
●  WCW World Heavyweight Champion: Bret Hart (12/20/1999)
●  WCW U.S. Heavyweight Champion: Jeff Jarrett (12/20/1999)
●  WCW World Tag Team Champions: VACANT (12/27/1999)
●  WCW Hardcore Champion: Norman Smiley (11/21/1999)
●  WCW Cruiserweight Champion: Madusa (12/19/1999)

~ The first two-hour Nitro comes on the air with highlights of last week’s wackiness with Scott Steiner and Sid. We then get a look at a chartered jet we’re told has the new WCW Commissioner onboard which will be revealed tonight. After the intro Tony Schiavohne welcomes us to the show along with Mike Tenay and Bobby “The Brain” Heenan and says in addition to the new commissioner we’ll have the conclusion of the tag team championship tournament.

• Ron & Don Harris vs. Buzzkill & Mike Rotundo (w/Leia Meow) – Lethal Lottery Quarterfinal Match

Buzzkill comes out once again trying to pretend to be his more successful brother in the other company while Kevin Sullivan makes his way out with his Vartisy Club mates and joins the announcers for commentary. They also make Leia bring out her trampoline and she bounces on it during the whole match and doing her cheer. Rotundo takes a moment to insult the Clemson Tigers on the mic hoping to draw some heat for this match. Rotundo starts off with (let’s say) Don and gets in the first shots then whips him into a corner and clotheslines him and follows up with an elbowdrop for a two count. Rotundo goes for a whip but Don reverses it into a powerslam. Ron clotheslines Rotundo and Buzzkill tags himself in but Ron also gets the tag and gets in a knee to the chest. Ron whips Buzzkill who comes back with a flying forearm then goes for his own whip but Ron reverses it and plants Buzzkill with a sidewalk slam for a two count. Ron brings Buzzkill to his corner for a double-team then Don tags back in and helps Ron whip Buzzkill into a double elbow. Leia continues to do her thing on the floor when Standards and Practices comes out and covers Leia up then starts taking her bock to the lockerroom. Sullivan and Rotundo go after Idol and Lane in the aisle but that leaves Buzzkill against both Harris brothers. Ron and Don plant Buzzkill with their double powerbomb and grab the pin to advance to the next round. (2:02) Yea, this new year is definitely starting off on the right foot. Sullivan and Rotundo come back in and kick Buzzkill out of the ring then turn their attention to the Harrises but Ron and Don quickly take the advantage and clear them from the ring. DUD

~ We then get a look at our announcing triple threat as they talk about Bill Busch naming a new WCW Commissioner after the nWo tried to flaten Sid Vicious with a monster truck on last week’s show. Tony reports Sid threw himself over the front seat and only suffered some compressed vertebrae in his neck and is resting his neck after the doctors told him he may be cleared to face Bret Hart at Souled Out. Heenan calls Sid lucky to be alive and feels the new commissioner needs to be Superman to keep the nWo in check. Tenay then brings up the Lethal Lottery tournament and says we’ll have the later rounds and the finals tonight. The announcers mention some of the names rumored for the commissioner, from Lou Thesz to Bruno Sammartino as we get a shot of a motorcade leaving the airport and Tony figures the Commissioner must be on his way.

~ Backstage we find Kevin Nash, Jeff Jarrett and Scott Steiner watching the show unfold in their lockerroom and Steiner feels they shouldn’t care who the commmissioner will be. Nash says he heard it’s going to be Tom Zenk when the three of them then start wondering where Bret Hart is. We then cut elsewhere and find Bret arriving at the building when he gets jumped by Sid who’s wearing a neckbrace. Sid throws Bret into several groups of metal objects and continues to pound away on him as we go to commercial.

~ Back from break we get a replay of Sid Vicious ambushing Bret before we get a shot of the nWo tending to him. The EMTs arrive on the scene to check Bret out but the nWo guys start beating them down for no real reason.

~ We get a shot of the new Commissioner’s motorcade still making their way to the building.

~ Backstage Mean Gene Okerlund interviews Diamond Dallas Page on his demand to get a match with Buff Bagwell and tells him he has his match signed for Souled Out and it’s even going to be held under “last man standing” rules. DDP then feels he has no reason to be here tonight then tells Gene he’ll see him at the pay-per-view and starts to leave. However Curt Hennig appears and tells DDP that the Powers That Be have decided they want him in the ring tonight. DDP asks who’s in the ring right now and once Hennig says it’s PG-13 DDP says that works for him.

• PG-13 vs. Kevin Nash & Scott Steiner – Lethal Lottery Quarterfinal Match

JC Ice gets on the mic first and starts putting down the fans while Wolfie D adds in some rapping as well when Diamond Dallas Page rushes the ring instead of the scheduled opponents. Wolfie and JC double-team DDP and whip him but DDP comes back with a clothesline on both guys. DDP takes control and clotheslines Wolfie over the ropes before laying JC Ice out with a Diamond Cutter. Wolfie climbs to the top rope but DDP cuts him off and takes him out with a Diamond Cutter for good measure. DDP departs the ring through the crowd just as Nash and Steiner make their way out for the actual match. With the heavy lifting already done Nash hits an elbowdrop on JC and pins him to advace while even holding the tights. (0:15) Nash and Steiner then give the PG-13 guys the spraypaint treatment as well. Okay then. NR

~ We then see Bret Hart and Jeff Jarrett also on their way to the ring to join their comrades as we go to commercial.

~ Back from break we see the new commissioner’s motorcade is still en route to the building.

~ In the arena Bret Hart leads the nWo to the ring and it looks like we’re going to hear a few words from these guys. For some reason Kevin Nash and Scott Steiner headed to the back just so all four guys could walk out as a group. Bret gets on the mic first and talks about Sid having to resort to jumping him in the back and playing petty games then says he won’t need a truck or anything to take Sid out at Souled Out because he’s going to beat his little skull in. Bret says this his his time, not Sid’s, and that he’s going to prove he is the best there is and so on at the pay-per-view. Bret then says he’s going to have some fun tonight before handing the mic to Jeff Jarrett so he can add his thoughts. Jarrett talks about his Triple Theater series with Chris Benoit which he feels will a three-time butt kicking because he’s going to torture Benoit in Benoit’s own Dungeon Match before manhandling him in the Bunkouse Brawl and it’ll be him coming off the top of the cage. Jarrett says Benoit may be in Japan tonight but Sid is here all alone and if Bret wasn’t already hot at him then he’d beat him up himself. Kevin Nash takes the mic and scoffs at WCW bringing in a Commissioner to make rules they’re just going to break. Nash tells Bill Busch that this is a new millenium but things haven’t changed and they’re still the same nWo as always. Make your own jokes, people. Steiner takes over and laughs at the fans who really wanted to like him after his award-worthy performance. Steiner says his real fans are well educated and work on Wall Street while all he sees tonight is tobacco-chewing inbreds. Steiner makes fun of someone wearing a Goldberg shirt before reminding him that Goldberg was no match for them then finishes by telling everyone to bow to the greatest athletes in the world.

~ Back from break the limo has arrived at the building signaling the new WCW Commissioner will be revealed shortly. How much do you want to bet they’re going to wait until Raw starts to spring the surprise on us?

• David Flair & Crowbar (w/Daffney Unger) vs. Lash LeRoux & Midnight – Lethal Lottery Quarterfinal Match

Lash starts off against David and gets in the first shots then goes for a whip, David reverses it but Lash slides under David then whips him and hits a sidewalk slam for a two count. Stevie Ray comes out to join the announcers for commmentary and talks on why he dislikes Midnight so much. Lash hits an Atomic Drop that causes David to tag in Crowbar and Crowbar hits a headbutt then bites the face. Crowbar charges at Lash but Lash trips him with a drop toehold that sends him sliding under the ropes. Lash goes out after Crowbar but David grabs him from behind for a double-team and Crowbar headbutts him. Crowbar goes in the ring and goes for a baseball slide but Lash escapes and Crowbar nails David instead. Crowbar tries to help David up when Lash sings himself over the ropes and nails both men with a plancha. Lash throws David into the guardrail then catapuls Crowbar into the ringsteps. Lash heads back in the ring when Stevie hops on the apron and gets in Lash’s face daring him to tag Midnight. Lash proceeds to do so and slams Crowbar to the mat then Midnight press slams Lash onto Crowbar. Midnight applies a headlock, Crowbar shoves her away but eats a shoulderblock and Midnight cartwheels over him and hits a dropkick. Midnight goes for a whip but Crowbar reverses and Stevie pulls her out to the floor as she tags Lash back in. Lash takes it to both opponents while the referee repremans Stevie but not before he decks Midnight in the face. Stevie yells at Midnight when Booker T comes out and shoves him away and the two of them start arguing. Booker then turns to help Midnight but Stevie whacks him with the slapjack and does the same to Midnight. We also see Disco Inferno and Tony Marinana watching from ringside signaling more interference is to come. Meanwhile David is down as Lash has Crowbar on the top rope and slams him on David with a huricanrana then drills Crowbar with the Whiplash. Now Big Vito and Johnny The Bull run in and attack Lash as we wonder how many more guys are going to get involved. David and Crowbar are fighting each other as Johnny works Lash over and Vito nails him with an Implant DDT. Marinara and his crew leave while Crowbar throws David on top of Lash and that gets the three to advance. (5:15) Geez, how much overbooking can we possibly fit into one match? DUD

~ Lex Luger (dressed up as Sting) is shown heading to the ring with Elizabeth as we go to commercial.

~ Back from break the limo is still there as Tony says we’ll find out who the new commissioner is very soon.

~ Backstage Lash LeRoux confronts Disco Inferno about his hanging around with Tony Marinara and his goons and Disco tries to get his friend to see what a dangerous situation this is when Vito and Johnny appear and jump Lash. The goons beat Lash down as Marinana directs traffic and all Disco can do is stand back and watch.

~ Back in the arena Sting’s theme fires up and not surprisingly it’s Lex Luger and Elizabeth coming out instead. “Sting” gets on the mic and talks about the Total Package destroying him the last time he tried to wrestle so he needs to redeem himself and apparently has some no-name wrestler lined up for him to fix his reputation. However Tank Abbott makes his way out to be the opposition and Luger is not happy about this development.

• Lex Luger (w/Elizabeth) vs. Tank Abbott

Luger bails out to the floor saying he didn’t sign up for this but Abbott stalks him back in the ring and has him cornered. Luger begs him off when Liz hops on the apron and spray mace in Abbott’s face. The referee then calls for the bell to end this even though both guys never made contact with each other. (0:50) Yeah, whatever. DUD

Jerry Flynn then charges in the ring to get a himself piece of Abbott but gets no reaction from the crowd. Meanwhile Luger and Elizabeth head up the aisle but are horrified to find a crow waiting for them on the stage, no doubt another message from the recovering Sting.

~ Outside we find the nWo trying to sneak a peek at who’s in the limo but are held at bay by security. Tony promises that we’ll find out who the new WCW Commissioner is after this next commercial break.

~ Back from break Rob Gardner of the WCW front office heads out to the ring to make the big announcement. Gardner talks on WCW being in turmoil ever since the writers (who have iron-clad contracts) came to the company and it’s been a power struggle between Bill Busch and the Powers That Be after they reformed the nWo. Gardner also says the people WCW has depended on before, such as Sting and Goldberg, are at home nursing injuries, but Busch knew the one guy with the power and knowledge to pull WCW out of the situation that it’s in. Now the rumor going into this show was that Ric Flair would be the commssioner so the crowd chants “We Want Flair” and ready the Four Horsemen fingers. Instead Gardner introduces the new Commissioner of WCW as the man who made hardcore fahsionable, Terry Funk! Funk makes his way out escorted by security and gets a disapointing reaction from the crowd who was expecting Flair. We also get reaction shots of the fans and go from one blank face to the next, probably not what WCW was hoping. Funk takes the mic and explains he accepted the job of WCW Commissioner because he loves professional wrestling, he loves real pain, desire, dedication and personalities and not the paper tigers the Powers That Be create. Funk calls the nWo a bunch of fat hogs who are following behind the slop wagon that’s throwing out easy money. Funk feels he needs some help against Vince Russo and Ed Ferrera and brings out his enforncer, Arn Anderson! Arn joins Funk in the ring and he gets a good response from the crowd, through they’re still chanting “We Want Flair!” Arn asks Funk for some mic time and wants the Powers That Be to listen to the crowd chants, calling it real emotion. Arn talks on earning real emotion not from scripting it with a pen but giving his all and dumping his blood for the fans. Arn says he and Funk are man enough to do what they want and not send guys like the nWo to do their bidding. Arn mentions guys like the Powers have tried to get rid of guys like him for years but they couldn’t do it face-to-face. The crowd chants “We Want Flair” again and Arn acknlowedges it, calling Flair another guy who earned his respect. Arn says he and Funk will not let the nWo run wild again and the Powers will have to drag their dead bodies away.

Not surprisingly the nWo finally gathers on the stage with bats in hand to offer their opinions on this development. Bret Hart takes the mic and says he though Funk was so far over the hill but some guys just don’t know when to quit. Bret offers Funk a spot in the nWo and tells him he can go out the easy way in style or he can go out the hard way. Funk says he isn’t going anywhere and won’t be beaten because he’s Commissioner and has all the time in the world. Funk tells Bret he’s going to see that he’s beaten at Souled Out by adding some stipulations for his match with Sid. Funk decrees the title can change hands by disqualification then appoints Arn as the special referee. Arn happily accepts the assignment then warns Bret not to get out of line or he won’t be the only one wearing stripes. Funk then mentions Jeff Jarrett talking earlier about wanting to beat Sid up and decides to give him his chance tonight by having him to defend the U.S. Title against Sid in a powerbomb match. Funk next tells Kevin Nash and Scott Steiner that he’s going to make sure they’re screwed out of the tag team titles. Nash takes the mic to respond and tells “Wyatt Earp” and “Doc Holliday” they’re dead men. Nash tells Funk that he can make all the idle threats he wants but the nWo are still going to do things their way. Nash then threatens to raise the ante by getting ahold of Arn’s crazy little godson, David Flair, and taking him out. Arn yells at Nash to leave David out of this as Nash finishes by saying the nWo are the ones making the rules and and we finally wrap up this segment and go to commercial after nearly 20 minutes.

~ Back from break Terry Funk and Arn have rounded up some security guys to find David before the nWo does. Arn wants to handle this problem himself but Funk tells him they’ll get through this together.

• Buff Bagwell & Chris Kanyon vs. Norman Smiley & Asya – Lethal Lottery Quarterfinal Match

Buff makes his way out first followed by Kanyon who has his women and a champagne bottle with him. Kanyon grabs the mic and talks about being in Hollywood and feels that Greenville sure isn’t Hollywood. Kanyon tells Buff he’s seen his movies which suck but thanks him for being a better wrestler than an actor which helped him advance in the tournament. Kanyon offers Buff his champagne bottle but Buff takes the mic to respond and says Greenville is Hollywood then smashes the bottle over Kanyon’s head. Norman makes his way out dressed as Gruff, the mascot of the Greenville Growl minor-league hockey team while Asya comes out to the ring last. Kanyon is also helped to the back so Buff is fighting this one on his own again. Buff starts against Norman (who wrestles in the costume) and gets a headlock when Norman shoves him away but Buff hits a shoulderblock. Buff comes off the ropes but runs into an elbow and Norman mocks Buff’s posing. Buff doesn’t appreciate that and tees off on Norman then whips him and hits a backdrop and a clothesline. Buff goes for a whip but Norman reverses it and Asya nails Buff from behind before Norman clotheslines him. Norman does his dance before tagging Asya to take over and Asya holds the legs for an elbowdrop to the chest. Asya goes for a suplex but Buff blocks it and counters with a vertical suplex. Norman tags back in and Buff whips him into an elbow then slams Asya before turning to Norman for a clothesline but Asya nails Buff with a low blow. Norman asks Asya to hold Buff while he grabs the oversided mascot head and swings it but Buff escapes while Asya takes the hit instead. Buff clotheslines Norman down then Buff hops to the middle rope and hits the Blockbuster for the three to advance. (3:03) Another DUD in a string of them. DUD

Buff doesn’t get to celebrate when Perry Saturn runs in and jumps Buff before clotheslining him over the ropes. Asya looks ready to fight Saturn but Shane Dougals and Dean Malenko come out to keep them separated. Hacksaw Jim Duggan then runs in with a 2×4 and tries to fight all three Revolution members by himself but However Saturn takes the 2×4 and nails Duggan with it then he, Malenko and Douglas triple-team him. Now Billy Kidman and Konnan run in for the save and manage the clear the Revoultion from the ring.

~ Backstage Funk and arn are frantically searching for David as are the nWo in another area as we go to commercial.

~ Back form break Funk and Arn are still searching for David and manage to find Daffney in a boiler room.

• Kevin Nash & Scott Steiner vs. Ron & Don Harris – Lethal Lottery Semifinal Match

Nash starts off against one of the twins (who we’ll call Ron) while Steiner joins the announcer for commentary. Ron gets in the first shots and Don gets in a few from the apron and Nash bails out to the floor to regroup. Nash asks Steiner for a baseball bat and tries to bring it in the ring but the referee keeps him from using it. The Harrises roll out to the floor when Kevin Sullivan and Mike Rotundo run out and ambush them with chairs. Sullivan tosses Don back in the ring and Steiner tags in then covers Don with his knee for the easy pin. (1:16) And there’s your first set of finalists. The nWo guys sure are getting a light workout tonight. DUD

~ Backstage Arn and Funk asks Daffney to lead them to David but Daffney says David doesn’t want to see anyone. Daffney then walks out of the room laughing hysterically but Jeff Jarrett grabs her and drags her off.

• David Flair & Crowbar vs. Buff Bagwell & Chris Kanyon – Lethal Lottery Semifinal Match

Buff maks his way out first when we suddenly see Bam Bam Bigelow attacking Kanyon on the ramp behind him. Bigelow suplexes Kanyon onto the stage before tossing him off the edge through a table below. Kanyon is out on the floor as David and Crowbar come out next not knowing that Daffney was just abducted. It looks like yet another handicap match for Buff when Vampiro comes out and offers to take Kanyon’s place. Buff doesn’t look too happy but the referee allows the substitution so we now have….

• David Flair & Crowbar vs. Buff Bagwell & Vampiro – Lethal Lottery Semifinal Match

Crowbar nails Vampiro from behind and gets in the first shots then caps it off with a headbutt. Crowbar whips Vampiro but lowers the head and Vampiro kicks the face then follows it up with a spin kick. Vampiro climbs to the top rope and connects with a flying heelkick as Buff applauds him from the apron. Vampiro nails Crowbar with a clothesline as we see Terry Funk and Arn Anderson coming down the aisle and they try to talk with David about the situation with Daffney but David just sits there and giggles. Meanwhile Crowbar is fighting the match himself as Buff tags in for his shots before tagging Vampiro back in. Crowbar hits a suplex then climbs to the top rope but Vampiro cuts him off then climbs up and hits a superplex. Vampiro dares David to come in but he’s still busy with Funk and Arn allowing Buff to nail him from behind. Vampiro plants Crowbar with a sit-down powerbomb then goes out and gets in Arn’s face about his intrusion so Funk decks Vampiro and throws him back in the ring. Buff takes Vampiro out with the Blockbuster and leaves while David goes in and covers Vampiro for the pin to advance to the final match. (3:06) So it’s these two goofs against the nWo for the titles. We’re not even through the first show and I think I’m ready to give up on WCW in 2000 already. DUD

However the nWo comes back out to the stage once again with Jeff Jarrett holding Daffney in a headlock. Scott Steiner takes the mic and dares David to try and resuce his girl before the group heads to the back and David and Crowbar head after them as we go to commercial.

~ Back from break we find David Flair and Crowbar frantically searching backstage for Daffney.

• WCW U.S. Heavyweight Title: Jeff Jarrett © vs. Sid Vicious – Powerbomb Match

Sid is still wearing the neckbrace while Jarrett comes out armed with his guitar and a baseball bat as well. Both men lockup to start and Sid shoves Jarrett away then they lockup again. Sid pounds away on Jarrett and whips him when Jarrett comes back with a shot to the neck. Jarrett backdrops Sid over the ropes then goes out and rams himinto the guardrail. Jarrett brings Sid back in and snaps his neck on the top rope then climbs to the top rope and hits a crossbody. The referee counts two forgetting this is a powerbomb match. Jarrett wails away on Sid and goes for a whip but Sid reverses it and hits a big boot followed by the chokeslam. Sid whips Jarrett but Jarrett slides under him and ends up triping up the referee as well, taking him out. Sid plants Jarrett with the powerbomb for the title but the referee doesn’t see it. Sid tries to revive the referee then readies another powerbomb but Bret Hart comes in with a bat and whacks Sid from behind for a DQ. (2:31) Bret and Jarrett continue beating on Sid with the bat before Bret spraypaints his back. The EMTs come in to help Sid but they get beaten down and spraypainted as well. DUD

~ David Flair and Crowbar are still seaching for Daffney backstage as we go to commercial.

• Kevin Nash & Scott Steiner vs. David Flair & Crowbar – Lethal Lottery Final for the Tag Team Titles

Now you’re thinking the result is obvious, that Nash and Steiner are going to win easily so the nWo can have all the gold again, right? David and Crowbar rush the ring but Nash boots Flair down while Steiner tosses Crowbar over the ropes. Steiner goes out and whips Crowbar into the guardrail then once again joins the announcers for commentary. Nash hits David with a short-arm clothesline then notices there’s no referee in the ring to officiate this match. Nash plants David with a sidewalk slam when Crowbar climbs to the top rope but Nash throws him to the mat. Nash whips Crowbar who flips over the ropes then elbows Flair in the head and boots Crowbar off the apron. Nash continues hammering David in a corner when Crowbar climbs in the ring but Nash jabs him in the eyes and hits a low blow. Nash knocks Crowbar’s and David’s heads togather while still wondering where the referee is. We then see Terry Funk making his way out with security and Arn Anderson who’s wearing a referee’s shirt. Nash plants Crowbar with a Jackknife then taunts Arn while the security guys look to keep Steiner at bay. Nash sets David up for a Jackknife when Arn grabs David’s crowbar and whacks Nash in the back with it. Arn then drapes David’s arm over Nash and counts the 1..2..3 giving David Flair and Crowbar the titles! (3:40) Wow, David Flair and Crowbar as tag team champions, doesn’t that beat all. DUD

Arn helps David to his feet just as Bret Hart and Jeff Jarrett storm out with Daffney still in Jarrett’s headlock. Arn goes out to confront them in the aisle when David turns and nails Arn with the crowbar for no real reason! Daffney escapes from Jarrett and she, Crowbar and David run off with the belts while Funk tends to the fallen Arn. Unfortunatley the nWo guys take out the security guys with their bats and Steiner chokes Funk out with his bat before he and Nash throw him in the ring. Funk tries to fight back but Steiner stops that with a low blow and Nash finishes Funk off with the Jackknife. Meanwhile Bret and Jarrett beat on Arn and drag him to the back then dump him into the trunk of a waiting car and drive away as the show comes to a close. Yes, folks, those were the men who were supposed to keep the nWo at bay and restore order to WCW. Right.

Conclusion: WCW begins the “new” millenium with one of the worst Nitros ever. Honestly, the swtich to a two-hour format didn’t keep the show from being any less terrible. The tag title tournament matches stunk with all the different run-ins and junk and having David Flair and Crowbar of all people emerge as champs in the end devalued the titles even further. The other segments were just as bad and the big surprise of Terry Funk being named Commissioner fell a little flat since everyone was expecting Ric Flair which as I said was the rumor at the time. Also WCW expects us to believe that Funk and Arn can keep the nWo in line when, on their first night on the job, they get beaten down like everyone else. Nice way to give the crowd something to cheer for, guys. Overall a horrible way to kick off a new year which would set the table for the rest of WCW’s existance.

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